robbed of 200,000USD from my cousin, help

I woke up this morning with the most intense anxiety. I have this horrific situation on hand. I am dealing with(which started about 1.5 years ago) this situation, and it's constantly on my mind. Even when I am not actively thinking about it, it's always on back of my mind and it manifest into my dream over and over. I like my world is crumbling down and feel so helpless. I've just taken a bunch of anxiety medicine.

So let me elaborate on this "situation" that begin a year and a half ago, I was conned( don't know if that's an  accurate description) by my long time friend( my far cousin). Back then, I was working long hours at my job and always busy, I didn't have time to manage my personal investment accounts.  My cousin worked in finance, he was an independent owner of his small investment firm.  Since worked like a dog for many years,   I had managed to save up about $200,000 USD(this is before I lost my job). As mentioned before, previous to losing my job, with my busy schedule, I needed someone to manage my investment accounts. I hired him to do this, kind of as my accountant and asset manager. One day I found out that my asset accounts didn't add up in numbers. WHat had happened is that my cousin had lost all of his other clients' money and he tapped into my account and withdrew my cash (200,000. USD) to transfer into his account, all without my permission. He manipulated the paperwork to make it as if he lost my money while managing my assests, when in fact,  he actually just withdrew the cash out of my account and did some paper work to cover up his illegal action. I soon found out but it was too late. He filed bankruptcy saying he has no assets under his name. In korean law, this would be considered a civil suit so although I can file a civil suit case in an attempt to recover my money, it'd be fruitless. His hose and any other tangible assets were all in his wife and his mother's name.

When this happend 1.5 years ago, He promised he'd payback with in a year, than he asked for additional 6months. So I called him last night to see if he is preparing to repay me now. He replied by saying he doesn't think he can and give him some more time but he doesn't think he can!!! I couldn't breath!! I was devastated. I felt as the walls were crumbling down( I don't know how to put it in words of what I am feeling).

Everyone around me tells me that it's  hopeless to think that I can regain my money from him by pursuing a legal civil action course. So I am waiting and waiting. All I have to go on is just his word, and his conscious(if  he has any left in him).

As I previously mentioned that I am currently out of a job and so my only source of living income is my savings. I am only 30years old so for me, having worked so hard to saved up 200,000.USD and no other debt in my life, seemed that I was atleast okay for next few years- to deal with my agoraphobia and focus on getting better. I don't have any family members- I have no support of my parents since they passed away. This never has been a problem since I have always strived to be independent even financially. I believed that I should always be able to take care of myself. But now, with this happened, I just don't know what to do! My health insurance is very expensive since I have a private HMO health insurance( US does not have NIH like europe). I am so worried, scared, and angry!!

Things are so...........screwed up right now.
Every moment of each day, I avoid watching financial news and any other money related subjects, because it's reminder of the predicament I am in. I always wonder if he'll call this week to say he'll start paying me back. Just hoping that he'll pay up is so little to go on since he has already failed to pay any during the past 1.5 years.

I have done so many things to not let this get to me but I just can't seem to do it. I'd have anxiety attacks just by thinking about it. I'd even take Valium to come myself, which I hate doing so. The thought of not being able to get that money back is so scary. I wouldn't know what to do!  I need that money to make ends meet, pay for my medical bills, etc. What if I can't get well soon to get a job and become penniless? These worries have a horrific consequences...I am constantly getting anxiety attacks, really bad ones. I have done things to keep my mind off of it by reading, learning to knit, etc to distract my mind but it's not helping. I think I tend to sleep as long as possible because i know when I am awake, these thoughts hunt me again and agin.

I also feel so betrayed from my cousin and his parents. They live in a decent house. They used to say "oh you can think of us as your family" and I used to bend over backwards for them.

What should I do? I try to think positive- maybe he'll pay me back- but I just don't think it's realistic.  I try to tell meself money is not important but it is! It is important when it's need for isto make ends meet and have a roof over your head. I just don't think I can start work right now with my agoraphobia and depression being so bad. I worked so hard for that money. It's my life savings!

I am sorry for constantly nagging but I just feel so... devastated. 
Can some one suggest and give me an advice what to do? Also how I can just let go? I don't know meditation...I tried but I am not good at it.
I try to tell myself, "what's done is done and it's bad enough he has caused financial suffering to me  but don't let him cause emotional suffering too. Letting this situation cause anxieties and nightmares is like losing the money as well as losing my sanity. So JUST LET IT GO..." .....................but it just doesn't seem to work.

Please.......any advice, opinion, help will be greatly appreciated.
Desperate....J

PS. I think my post will be filled with poor grammer because I had to overdose on my anxiety meds to calm my selfdown.